Being a Queer Parent is a Privilege

I went to a pride event in downtown Santa Cruz last weekend with my youngest kid and realized it had been YEARS since I had done anything to celebrate pride. It got me thinking about how so often in queer culture, we don’t center the experiences of parents or those of us who are trying to become parents. And of course, the places in society that focus on family-building are overwhelmingly cis and heterosexual.

I often think that my queerness is a privilege. It offers me so many gifts— a space outside of the dominant cultural narrative to explore the truest expression of myself and my relationships. Parenting is also a privilege. Having the opportunity to raise and love my children, and hopefully support them to explore their most authentic selves, is my favorite thing in life— and an experience I believe is a right for everyone who wants it.

I’m so excited about PregnantTogether because I want to create a space where people who want to become or already are parents can come together and support each other to be the most authentic versions of themselves— and to help each other with the logistical and emotional process of growing our families in a world not designed for families like ours.

It matters that we have this space. It matters because we deserve a place to be our fullest selves—and to model this for our children. We deserve to have a safe place to be our messy, imperfect, sometimes anxious and overwhelmed, consistently human selves. And to not feel so alone as we do this sacred work of raising the next generation.

I’m honored and excited to grow this community with you all.